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Truth or Dare

Reflecting over the many conversations undergone over the problems of black relationships I find the complexion of honesty amongst genders to always take the forefront. The problem seems to be in the intention and the interpretation. Since I am a brother, I won’t speculate on what I think the other sex feels, needs or desires; I will only give my own thoughts.

Most women say that men are not honest and generally are deceitful. To me it’s quite the contrary. When a brother becomes honest and forthright with his intentions, his truths are usually met with "How dare you!" even though the desire and intentions might be mutual.

Sex coils as the culprit.

Most men know sex as nothing more than a physical desire to be met and nothing more. My question is this… How can you equate sex, a short-term physical action, with the glory of loves long-term commitment? To adjoin and unionize the two to me seems to negate the values and institutions of love. It defiles the concept. Love is too magnanimous an entity to be trivialized by placing a reciprocal bartering. Bartering because some women place a hostage negotiation on sex. They feel that sex is only begotten once they receive long term satisfaction. So in reality it is women that place sex above everything else. Women use sex to get relationships and these measures force men to use relationships to get sex. Henceforth comes the great contradiction. Can we really balance my life of love on the ability to get sex? Men will ask for sex faster than a NY minute. But, women taper these needs until the metaphoric ring "is on my finger" (or at least a commitment). Some women seem to believe that they can do without the sexual compatibility, as long he has good character. Is this honesty? Some women because of their concepts of love carry the burden of losing it long after it’s gone. Is this honesty? Maybe some women act this way because of societal ideals, but isn’t this in conflict with the proverbial strong black women? Relationships should never be truth or dare.

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