Look But Don't Touch

Recently, there has been a great focus on the single, black mother, identifying the trials and tribulations she must tolerate in her efforts to be a good parent.

However, that same forum has been closed to another saga in today's’ world of less than lasting relationships. That person is the unwed, single, childless brother that attaches himself to single, mother family unit, and accepts the responsibility and privilege of entering into their world. The single black male assumes this role in spite of the obvious obstacles and complexities, placed before his path.

He knows, that to accept the woman, he must accept all that encompasses her world, her life and above all, her children. Creating that delicate mixture of tolerance, protectiveness, paternalism and still deal with a world where sometimes confusion and frustration are nothing new. He must identify when to be that father figure and when to withdraw, or merely assume that role of adult. He must constantly keep forthright in thought, never to overstep his dual roles, not only with the children but with the mother as well.

And, when the unfortunate time of break up rears itself, he is forced to process the worst experience imaginable. The separation of him from children who he has become deeply, emotionally attached to. Now of course, critics can readily state " If you are mature enough you can still play an active role in their lives." But, there is still that void that does not settle the absence and lost he must face.

The family unit is the most important thing in any community. It is the foundation from which we all stem from. And we all must accept and support all attributes of that ingredient.

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