Sex & Relationships
 
 

That's amore!
The mystery of love is solved. in terms we can all understand!

Crush, lust, admiration or respect. Love can mean different things to different people. The filial love you feel for members of your family is very different from the passionate, erotic (from Eros, the Greek god of love) feelings you have for your mate. You can love your friends, but that sort of platonic affection is very different from what you feel for your boyfriend.

Yet some people maintain that there is no difference in types of love and that all forms spring from the same human desire to connect with another being. While this may be true, how can you determine if what you feel is love and not just sexual attraction? And what if you happen to find someone you're in love with, but then you decide to ignore your feelings because the timing is off? Does true love only come around once, or can it happen many times in one's life? Is there really such a thing as love at first sight, or can you only truly fall in love with someone you've known for a long time?

What's the difference between a crush and true love?
Crushes usually occur when you first meet someone and feel a special connection. Most are based on sexual chemistry and are accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms and, for an unfortunate few, drooling. A crush has more to do with lust and infatuation than with enduring love. It could stem from both a physical and a mental attraction.

The main difference between crushes and love is that crushes often happen when there is little chance of forming a relationship. These types of crushes are a safe way to explore your feelings for someone who you may think is unattainable. But sometimes the strongest variety of crushes occurs when the person is not completely outside of one's reach. These can closely resemble love, and if your feelings don't fizzle after you've snagged the object of your crush, they can lead to love.

Can you fall in love with someone you don't know?
Yes, you can. But whether or not you can have a relationship is another matter. Usually this type of love involves a fantasy. The person who falls in love projects his or her feelings and ideas of happiness onto the love interest. And since a fantasy can often be as strong as any true-life situation, love in these types of scenarios is not out of the question. But be careful. Should you meet that person and they turn out to be very different from the way you imagined, don't get depressed. You opened your heart, and this takes bravery.

Can you be in love with someone who doesn't love you?
Unrequited love is very common and has been around since before Shakespeare's time. And while the 19th century poets may have made it sound romantic, the problem with this situation is that it can quickly turn into an obsession if you're not careful. Most people are programmed to want what they can't have (also known as 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome). By simply being denied someone's love, they can form feelings of attachment, which can turn into an obsession if left uncontrolled. Another problem with unrequited love is that it can quickly become more of a challenge than a real emotion. Being rejected can rob someone of his ego, and in turn, this person may try to prove that he is worthy of love. On the other hand, if you feel strongly attached to someone because you respect and admire who they are, you may actually be in love.

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
Some people are true believers in this phenomenon. These are usually the ones whose love at first sight led to a happy and satisfying relationship. Others, who felt this connection only to be let down, believe that love at first sight is really just lust at first sight. Nonetheless, it does happen more than you think. If you spot a person across a crowded room and feel a rush of emotions, don't be so quick to dismiss your feelings. When someone falls in love at first sight, it's usually an indication that the love interest has evoked some pleasant memory from the past. Maybe they remind you of your parents, your first love, or even someone you used to love from afar. Many couples who have fallen in love at first sight have gone on to live happily ever after. You never know when Cupid's arrow will strike gold, so go with it and enjoy the ride.

Can you love someone much older or younger than you?
Often we cannot control whom we fall in love with. Provided you're both of legal age, there's no reason why love can't unite two people of very different ages. Whether or not your relationship can withstand the criticism of others is something time will tell. But if you're confident about your feelings, the opinions of others should not play a significant role in the relationship.

By Penelope Forrester
 
www.ivenus.com/relationships/features/File_51920000714153724.asp