Soul Food

For the longest time in my marriage, I have settled for being content, rather than being happy, for having two beautiful children and a husband who works, comes home and is totally satisfied just be a part of my life. So, I know you're wondering, what the hell does she have to complain about?

Outside, there are women who would trade places with me in a heartbeat. To some this may sound like I'm unappreciative of my blessings; however, I can't help but adhere to the longstanding cravings of my soul.

I need the mental stimulation that my husband is not able to give me - not able because I've outgrown him. And although we've been together for 21years now, my head or my heart will not let me rest until I find it. Since I love communicating, a friend thought it would be good to get AOL. So, I went online. The world of cyberspace was a new dimension for me, opening me up to a whole new world of mental stimulation.

And there he was.

At first, we didn't exactly hit it off in the beginning. But he had a force, a energy that pulled me right into his vortex. He pushed and pulled until I had no other choice but to be me, a freedom I have not been allowed for a very long time. It was refreshing, exhilarating and, damnit, he brings real smiles to my face. Not the ones that just touch the surface, the ones that touch the soul.

The physical aspect has not happened yet because we have not met. But it will. And the physical was not my premise. To me, the premise is in the importance of having a man that can touch my mind, as well as my body. And this puts me in a very awkward position. It makes me take note of all the things that are a priority in my life, and he appears very high on the list. Now, I know this is probably going to hurt me in the future, but I feel that I am finally living in the present. He makes my soul feel alive again and has blessed my life in ways that are hard to explain.